The joy of interacting with people "in person" is it overrated? What happens when we bump into someone face to face? Should we talk to strangers?

 

The importance of physical interaction with people, family, friends, strangers, just people as opposed to online!!

Due to COVID and all sorts of other events, like cyclones and difficulties getting around on our roads, there have been a lot of cancellations and times where we haven't been able to interact with those we love.  Communities have been missing out on vital physical social interaction.  Sure, everyone is on social media and in contact through their phones and the internet, but not in the same room.

It has been a tough last week in my local community.  I have had people in tears in my classes, over a very special young person taken way too soon.  

As a community we gave him the most beautiful, sad, incredible send off, his friends and family were amazing.  Of a town of around 4000 people there were about 2000 people in attendance.  What a beautiful community, we needed to get together to grieve.  It made me think of the importance of support in a purely physical way that we have been missing.  Some people seem to be able to look for help online but not with interaction with others in person, that is a true human need that we are ignoring.   The importance of a hug, a kind word, a caring glance.

Above is a photo from pre-covid where I was asked by a complete stranger to hold her baby at the airport while she took her other children to the bathroom.  What an absolute privilege.  I have been thinking lately that this may not ever happen today.  

Yesterday I flew from one end of our beautiful country to the other.  Lots of delays and issues but I got to my destination safe and well.   I had the most interesting interactions with complete strangers 

as I went.  I thought today I will share those interactions with you.  After all, a stranger is a friend we haven't met yet.

1. I sat on the first flight with a lovely young lady who was off to visit her husband in Christchurch. They live in Christchurch but she commutes to Whangarei for work.  They had purchased a house in Christchurch recently and were new in the mortgage game.  Well, you know I couldn't shut up, could I?  I gave her some advice, the advice meant she would be able to take about 10 years of her home loan.  However, we were on the plane and couldn't go online so I was limited in the information I could give her, once again, it was fun to go old school and physically write it down on paper.  Calculating in my head, in front of her, made her respect how much I knew what I was talking about when it comes to mortgages.  She was so excited to have met me, I was excited to help her out.  It truly was a winwin
2. I found out on the first flight, she was also catching the same flight as me to Christchurch.  I asked her if she would like to come in as a guest with me to the Koru Lounge.  I would go online, get the figures and tell her exactly what to do.  She jumped at the chance.  We sat down for about 15 minutes and of her $595,000 mortgage, we managed to get it down from 30 years to 10 years, pay the same amount and save her $390,000.  TRUE STORY!  She shrugged it off to start with but put the numbers in herself and looked things up on the bank website and found, sure enough, it was true.  She was so thrilled and said she was going to make the changes immediately (after talking to her husband).  She kept saying she should have learnt this at school, it would have really helped her.  I tell her what I tell most people, which is; children at school have no vested interest in this stuff, they don't have to worry about the grocery bill, the mortgage, or the petrol bill, their life will carry on, they don't understand what it feels like to be stung.  Whereas, talking to adults about this, I know they have already been stung financially in some way, or they are about to be.  She agreed, she would have paid no attention at school.
3. While we were in the Koru lounge there was a young man with a very new baby.  He was struggling away trying to get it to stop crying, he said it had been a really long day.  Baby was his first child and was 6 weeks old.  I said, "can I help you and show you how to hold him so he calms down?",  he said "absolutely!".  I taught him the "tiger in the tree" hold, you mothers out there know what it is, and instantaneously, the baby settled.  I went to get some food and when I came back his partner was there helping him.  He started feeding the baby a bottle and holding him awkwardly with his head in the palm of his hand.  I said "while you feed him, snuggle him in to your elbow and let him have his hand under your armpit so you are close and making it as similar to breastfeeding/bonding as you can"  These two fathers were so appreciative, and did everything I said.  They told me they had just come back from Las Angeles, I thought, wow!  That is a big haul with a new baby!  I said how long have you been over there, the reply shocked me "seven weeks".  Oh!  so the baby is six weeks old!  Then they told me their surrogate is in Los Angeles and they went over their to pick up their new baby.  I said to them how absolutely thrilled I was for them.  I started to blurt out all of my years of experience in raising children and wondered how much new young parents are told when it comes to this.  They told me about their families and I am sure they are supported, but it made me wonder.  How many new parents are unsupported out there.  I thought the things I knew were out there for all, but this generation looks online for all the advice, not to their relations, often they are too scared to ask.  There is some good advice online, but it is hard when you don't know what you don't know, how do you ask the appropriate question to get the answer.
4. On the next flight I sat with some people who had just flown back from Germany, a mother and her two children, they were exhausted and had a very rough trip with lots of delays and sleeping in the airport in Frankfurt.  Her little boy (nine years old) sat beside me and he was very chatty, once I showed an interest.  I told him he was my new friend, and introduced him to the air hostess as such, he was truly chuffed, and eventually fell asleep on me.  I thought to myself that poor mother is also exhausted, she had been on the most amazing trip to Europe with her children but she was alone, and also was happy to chat and have someone who was interested. 

I guess my point of this blog is, everyone needs a friend.  If you can be their friend in that moment you may be the difference between them going over the edge or not.  All of the people I interacted with yesterday needed someone, for all sorts of different reasons  

I encourage you to be that person, their person, no matter who "they" are.  

Have a wonderful weekend, and don't forget, you may just be the difference!  Comment on someone's great hair, nice jewellery, nice phone, etc, even if they are just the person at the checkout or sitting beside you on a plane.  Have fun out there!  Thanks so much for reading, feel free to share, follow, comment, question or disagree, happy to have all sorts of feedback.  Let me know how I can help.